A day in the life. Of my brain.

It’s Saturday morning. I wake up at 8:30 am, which is sleeping in for me on a weekend day.

I wake up, I wash the dishes, I play with Ralphie. Coffee gets pressed and I catch up on all my usual social media and instagram(s). I refuel with a second cup and am hoping to have the courage to call Rogers about my iphone bill because I’ve been with them for 13 years and I still can’t believe how much they can get away with.

What did we do without smart phones? It makes me so angry how much we all depend on an electronic device. It makes me sad that I depend on it so much too.

Ralphie goes under the table and wipes his wet nose on the glass. I laugh and pet him.

I think about all the things that I have to do today.

The Brain. Perhaps Mine.

Get winter jackets from storage. Get a haircut. Make a huge pot of chili that has to start cooking very soon so it tastes really good. Pack up most of my summer clothes, except the few I’ll take with me to California. Go to the Vancouver Burlesque Centre for my class and get nervous about how I am going to remember all those steps again. Get mad at myself because it’s not a class where you’re getting graded, but putting yourself down is a hard thing to defeat. Remind myself why I am even doing this at all. Because I want to. I quit the gym so I could take classes that make me feel good inside and outside.

Look at the mountain of laundry that has accumulated from mostly 2 people and some part time step children. Think about what I’m going to do tonight with the 6 year old because we’re on our own.

Think about all the things that I have to do this week and that we have to get up at 4am next Saturday morning to catch an early flight to Calgary for his brother’s wedding that weekend. Think about how nervous/excited I get about flying and how many imodiums I need to take.

Think about taking up meditation and just calming the fuck down.

It’s only  10am, and this is all that has occurred in my mind and the only thing I’ve actually done so far is the dishes and drink coffee.

 

 

 

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One thought on “A day in the life. Of my brain.

  1. I remember feeling this way when I was your age, so many responsibilities and spread out so thinly. Looking back now it’s hard to believe that I survived it all, raising 2 children on my own and not sure if I was doing the right thing, being the best parent. It takes a lot of practice to quiet the brain, the Ego wants to be the center of attention so it keeps us busy with thoughts about actions we need to take. Meditation is great for this, or just relaxing somewhere in the dark without disturbance. I developed this system of email boxes before going to sleep. My thoughts were the craziest at sleep time, it’s really the only time you have to yourself with 2 children, a job and all the other things that we need to do. So, each thought that came up would be virtually placed into their respective boxes. The boxes were” Tomorrow, worthless crap, toss this out, ‘recycling’ etc, can’t remember exactly but the process was when a thought came up to immediately not give it any time/power and put it away. oh yes, I had a ‘fear’ box. That way I didn’t focus on any particular thoughts and it allowed me to get quality sleep. I found myself staying awake for 2 or 3 hours just fighting with my thoughts, so this really helped and eventually a process that started out as 1/2 hr came down to 1 minute. After that, I was able to just go to sleep and say ” no thoughts” tonight.

    Now, after 20 or so years, I lay my head on my pillow and try to come up with thoughts! I hate going to sleep, my life is awesome and I don’t want to miss any parts of it, but I pick a destination and then travel as light speed through galaxies and solar systems until the journey itself tires out and I”m asleep. Lately, I have been getting explosions in my head just before I go into alpha state, it shakes me up and scares the crap out of me, no pain, no nothing just an explosion, there is name for it, but forgot and don’t feel like googling right now.
    Awesome blog!

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