Playing on my Self Esteem

Where were we last time? I don’t even know anymore.

However, it’s July 2012 and we’re in a different spot, aren’t we? Oh, I was burlesquing, and it has changed my view on my own body quite a bit. A lot, actually.

I recently read a few articles about self esteem and how we’re affected by comparing ourselves with others. Oh, I never do this, nope, never. Yeah right.. I will be the first to admit that my self esteem is HORRIBLE. Constantly compare myself to others and “I wish I had a…”

It’s okay to do this with your girlfriends, but we do find it a little nauseous at times. Sometimes we tell ourselves to just get over it.

Whining about it with your partner can diminish a relationship. I don’t know it first hand, but I’ve seen it. I am lucky that I am constantly praised by a man who loves me and loves my body for who and what it is.  Anytime I mention how fat I am or how fat I feel he automatically gets upset. Because he loves me and doesn’t want me to feel that way. Because I shouldn’t. If you’re constantly telling yourself how awful you look or feel, guess what? It’s going to happen.

In fact, yesterday I went to the pool in a bikini. No shorts, no tankini, no tanktop, no skirt, a BIKINI. And I didn’t feel one bit ashamed or stared at (and if someone was staring at me it was because they were admiring me, damnit!)

I’ve been wanting to write a post like this for a long time, but it’s time that we just need to get over ourselves. If you want to change, then CHANGE. If you don’t, then don’t change. If you’re stuck.. you’re stuck and it’s mostly your fault. I seem to have lost empathy not only with others, but within myself. I am sick of myself and my whining and my “I’m fat WAH!” I’m not fat, I’m curvy! I’m not where I want to be in life, but I know I’ll get there. I just need to stop complaining about it, that’s all. It’s quite an easy solution.

And that’s what I have in my brain these days. Especially since Summer is here, I think we’re more self conscious about ourselves.

This is a wonderful article for couples & self esteem.