Cough Medicine Leaks in your Brain.

Oh, so you know that the kids these days, they use COUGH MEDICINE? Oh why oh why oh why do you want to feel that way?

Thursday I came home from work – I took some Nyquil. Sleepytime. I drift in and out of sleepies. It feels nice. Yes, so niiceZzzzz…

Thursday night – I take some more NyQuil. Nyquil helps you get your Zzzzz’s. Nyquil also makes you feel like THERE IS A BIG EARTHQUAKE AND YOUR BRAIN IS ON FIRE AND OH MY GOSH I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS WHERE ARE MY LEGZZZZ?? No, there wasn’t an earthquake, but there was one in Japan the next morning. COINCIDENCE? Most likely.

Friday, oh wonderful Friday I am going to drink some more Nyquil so I can sleep all day. Oh yeah, that’s when your body starts reverberating and your whole body becomes a vibrator of life. I am vibrating. I do not like this. Oh, shit, I can’t feel my legs or my arms. Do I have legs? My fingers, where are they?

Saturday: Shiiiit, I’m going to pop some Dristan to stay awake, and no more Nyquil until night time sleepy times. I get in the car to drive and I feel like it’s another body driving the car when SLAM the teenager backs into my car. All is well, I’m still alive.

Sunday: I have a cough. A loud unnerving cough that makes me projectile vomit into the toilet from coughing up 5 lungs. Look what’s in the cupboard, GENERIC REXALL BRAND COUGH EXPECTORANT! Yeah! Score! No, no score. NO NO NO. All day I felt like my brain was discombobulated. I don’t know what heroin or crack is like, but I could only imagine I had a mild case of the shakes. My whole day was an out of body experience. Was that me driving the car? Did I leave the door open while I poo’ed? Ugh, what is going ON? Why did I watch a documentary about guys obsessed with Tiffany? WHY?

Today is Monday. Monday means I drink green ginger tea and also take nin jiom, the natural stuff. I do not feel like I’m smoking crack and I can also feel my legs.

I am going to put this one down as the most awesomest weekends of my life.

 

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2 thoughts on “Cough Medicine Leaks in your Brain.

  1. MAN UP, ROUGH IT OUT. You’d probably feel a little bit better if you stop tooking medicine. Drink some green tea + honey + lemon and suck it up, lots of water and ride it out. AITE? PEACE.

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