Catharsis

Recently, I’ve been going through a very cathartic time in my life.

I am freeing myself from things/people/objects/you name it – in order to make my life better.  Does that person benefit my life? Nope. Bye. Do I need to keep an agenda from 2007 that reminded me of a time that wasn’t good? Nope. Do I really need to keep things for others because I feel that they might use them? Nope. Do I really need to keep people around that hurt me/aren’t true to me/kept me around for convenience? No no no.

Not only does this have to do with physical things, it is also very emotional. I am ridding myself of bad feelings and emotions – things that are associated with pain and suffering in the past.

Objects that are associated with a past life that I have to purge myself of. Obligations that I don’t need to carry anymore.

It’s a great feeling. Doing this though has made me put other things on the back burner, but I am okay with that. I am doing all of this one by one.

 It’s given me a chance to see what and how things fit into my life and how important they are. It’s a very internal thing.

I still struggle. Every day I struggle to accept the changes I have made and to make even more changes.

Do I really need that cookie? That extra glass of wine (or 3)? Is it going to mess up my life if I miss a social event? Will this person be disappointed if I do this or not? Answer: No.

My life is good. I am at the time in my life where I have an amazing supportive partner who has been nothing but amazing to me (and his 2 children, who I treat like my own). I have an amazing source of friends and as much as I feel alone, I know I’m not.

I’m looking forward to just living.

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