Catharsis

Recently, I’ve been going through a very cathartic time in my life.

I am freeing myself from things/people/objects/you name it – in order to make my life better.  Does that person benefit my life? Nope. Bye. Do I need to keep an agenda from 2007 that reminded me of a time that wasn’t good? Nope. Do I really need to keep things for others because I feel that they might use them? Nope. Do I really need to keep people around that hurt me/aren’t true to me/kept me around for convenience? No no no.

Not only does this have to do with physical things, it is also very emotional. I am ridding myself of bad feelings and emotions – things that are associated with pain and suffering in the past.

Objects that are associated with a past life that I have to purge myself of. Obligations that I don’t need to carry anymore.

It’s a great feeling. Doing this though has made me put other things on the back burner, but I am okay with that. I am doing all of this one by one.

 It’s given me a chance to see what and how things fit into my life and how important they are. It’s a very internal thing.

I still struggle. Every day I struggle to accept the changes I have made and to make even more changes.

Do I really need that cookie? That extra glass of wine (or 3)? Is it going to mess up my life if I miss a social event? Will this person be disappointed if I do this or not? Answer: No.

My life is good. I am at the time in my life where I have an amazing supportive partner who has been nothing but amazing to me (and his 2 children, who I treat like my own). I have an amazing source of friends and as much as I feel alone, I know I’m not.

I’m looking forward to just living.

Changing Habits

Recently I’ve been taking a stance on my health/habits. I’m getting older (32!), and I don’t want to wait until it’s too late to change things.

I can’t change the world, but I can change my habits (somewhat).

A few months ago I got a new Dr., and suffice to say she is amazing and has inspired me to look within emotionally, instead of blaming things physically. It has done wonders for my life. Paired with my awesome Clinical Counselor (who, oops I haven’t seen for a while, which is good I guess?), life is pretty good.

I have pretty much given on up being skinny. Skinny is another word for a lot of things, and you know what? My goal in life is to BE HEALTHY. I don’t want to be a critic and I don’t want to be a crazy health nut – I just want to change the way I do things.

After testing negative for Celiac disease (thank goodness), and testing positive for Anemia (not so good), and fluctuating blood sugar (eh), and a Thyroid specialist appointment (don’t eat the white stuffs, GiGi!).. I’ve just switched a few things around.

1. As gluten free as I possibly can. It’s impossible for me to be 100% gluten free as there are other people in my life. And that would mean I’d have to throw a lot of stuff away, and I don’t want to do that. My stomach loves me. I don’t have the horrid stomach pains I used to get. Digesting meat is still a problem sometimes, but I deal with it. Eating gluten free makes me feel a little better about my body. I remember a time when I used to eat wheat gluten ‘meat’ and would get SO SICK that I would be in the bathroom all night. Proof that meat is NOT the enemy, uh huh.

2. Eating more vegetarian meals high in protein (no, you don’t need meat to sustain, but I like meat and I eat it, but I used to be a vegetarian and well, I still can cook awesome veg meals with my eyes closed!)

3. Limiting sugars. This is hard. I like wine, , I like baked goods, I like my girly drinks. Instead of using sweeteners I have been using natural sugars like coconut sugar, which has a very low glycemic index rating. No more sweeteners, which haven’t done anything for me anyway. Of course I will have the occasional muffin, or cookie or piece of cake. Moderation.

4. I take lots of vitamins every day. B Complex, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, L-Tyrosine, MegaZyme (enzymes for my stomach), and Chromium Polynicotinate (not picolinate).

5. I’m not on a diet. I gave up on ‘diets’. It has such a bad stigma attached to it. Breakfast and lunch are my healthiest meals – dinner is usually whatever I want. Sometimes it’s really good for me, and sometimes it’s a steak that has butter on it. I just can’t go through life depriving myself. That doesn’t mean making myself fat though, it just means indulging, but also being smart and again.. moderation is key.

There are days when I struggle and I binge on junk food and feel sick. I’m not going to lie about that. Why? Really.

My skin! My skin has been pretty good. No major break outs on my face.

Here are items I’ve been using lately:

Use this in your coffee, in your baking and whatever else you use regular sugar in.

Rice Flour and Gluten Free all purpose flour. I like to mix both of them together in place of regular flours. Also, you need to use guar and xantham gum or just each individual in place of the gluten you would have from regular flour. I just recently made a bechamel sauce that was gluten free!

It’s so easy to modify your recipes to make them gluten free or *insert whatever free you want to be here* recipe. Seriously, it’s not that hard. All it takes is some research. Yes, these ingredients are a bit more expensive than regular ingredients, but it’s for my health!

I’m not doing this because I CAN’T eat the other things, I’m doing it because I feel better. I don’t do it 24/7 though, and that’s okay. I do it most of the time, lately.

Sites I love:

Naturally Ella

Gojee.com

SmittenKitchen

Gluten Free Goddess

Also, I bought a book for Thyroid recipes. It’s silly, but all the recipes in this book can be modified to be Gluten Free as well! Amazing.