My Ship Isn’t Pretty

No, it’s not. The title comes from a Kings of Convenience song and it’s very metaphorical. I remember a time when I wish that everything could be said in metaphors. These days, not a lot of people get what a metaphor is or even know how to use it. But that’s the long lost poet in me coming out.

These days, these months, they’ve all taught me a little bit about life and how I want to lead it. You get rid of the unnecessary people, objects and things in life, you purge, you aren’t apologetic to things that make you feel good/like you did the right thing. You surround yourself with the people you want to be surrounded by, not the passers in the night or the ones that keep you around to save face or look pretty.

I crave routine and spontaneity at the same time.

How those two collide is unknown, but they do. I want most of my experiences to have meaning and I want to spend my time unwasted. You would be surprised how often and how much people waste time.. myself included!

Going to therapy and talking out my feelings and being honest about my experiences in life has left me less jaded than before. I still have moments of fury and rage and anger, but I’m allowed to feel all of those emotions. When people get upset when someone is angry, it fuels the fire. Emotions exist for us to utilize them, don’t you think?

Being open and honest is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. It’s allowed me to see eye to eye with myself and the ones that I love. It’s allowed me to get rid of the ones I don’t want around, and also open my eyes to fleeting memories that are just that.

Basically, what I’m saying is.. I’m not apologizing for who I am, or what I do or the mistakes I make or the good things I do, or the people I love, and the people I don’t love.

I will leave you with this line from ‘My Ship Isn’t Pretty’:

the cargo lies in our laps
they’re weight is so heavy
and this is all we know
our message will need a ship
to travel across oceans
that can’t otherwise be crossed