Love Food/Hate Food

Food. The essential item to being alive (other than water). But then again Jesus (if he was really who he said he was) survived 40 days without.

I bet he drank his own piss anyway. What’s the biblical word for piss?

Just a sec: Piss in the Bible. Goddamn, I’m funny. Piss on Jesus.

Back to the subject of this post – Food. I love food. I love food more than I love myself. I have destroyed myself with my love of food. My whole day is planned around what I’m going to eat. I don’t like going a day without knowing.

Sometimes there are problems. I don’t always eat good food. I like too indulge way too much and way too fast.

My typical day looks like this: Oatmeal/Protein for breakfast, 3 cups of coffee.. Oh then we have lunch? Usually chicken and veggies or something really healthy.. I have snacks like apple & peanut butter in between. OH MY GOSH DINNER WHAT IS FOR DINNER. I usually ask Darcy what’s for dinner when I wake up. Dinner I eat whatever (within reason). Sometimes I work out. Then sometimes I go away to Seattle for 3 days and eat my weight in food.

To the naked eye I eat healthy. But you don’t always see me. I also have this thing in my head where I MUST TRY EVERYTHING ON THE PLANET.

Things I would have never eaten before now include: suckling pig (though I don’t know if I could do this again, SUCKLING PIG? breaks my heart), pork belly (oh so good), rib eye steaks (I never ate a proper steak until 4 years ago),  etc.

I don’t hate food, but sometimes I say I hate food. I love food. I love it so much that I want to hate it. I love food because it’s so good and without it I’ll die. But I don’t like eating what I’m supposed to all the time.

My body type doesn’t allow me to ‘eat whatever I want’ like some people. But then again, I’m probably still more healthier than most. Just because you’re skinny doesn’t mean you’re healthier than me. I know some skinny people who have problems climbing a hill. I can climb a hill and I’m fatter than you.

4 years ago I lost 42 pounds.

I don’t think I’d lose that 42 every again, but I’d like to lose at least 20. I’m a happy curvy girl, but there are days where I don’t want to have to wear shorts instead of bikini bottoms, you know? I want to be able to walk without my thighs rubbing together. I want to be able to RUN without wearing 2 sports bra’s.

I’m happy, but I’m not. Does that make sense?

Back to this food thing. Food can destroy your insides or it can make you thrive.. depending on what you actually put into your body. And I’m learning this.

Oh, I’m learning it the hard way.

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2 thoughts on “Love Food/Hate Food

  1. Throughout my own love/hate battle with food, I haves learned that skinny people who “eat whatever they want” only do so wrecklessly occasionally. When I lost the weight, my “whatever I want” list narrowed down into more healthy foods & very occasionally, a fatty meal, usually with friends who now think that I eat like that all the time.
    When I was fat, I spent a LOT of time watching thin people eat & ranting about their fatty orders. The only common trend I saw was that they never finish a whole plate. Something I still have issues with: realizing that just because something is in front of me, I don’t have to eat it. Scarcity effect! You would think I was never going to get a chance to eat that dish ever again.

    Anyway, I don’t think eating whatever you want ever comes without consequences. Usually, the thin people who eat shitty do make up for what they ate in working out or spending the rest of the week not consuming as many calories. They just like to make our fat-girl brains think they have this unattainable level of high metabolism.

  2. I’m with you, Gina. I eat healthy 90% of the time, but that 10% comes back and bites me in the ass. Food is soooo good! It’s hard to accept my body for what it is, even though I eat healthy and get regular exercise. I’m 40lbs heavier than I was at my lightest in years…and I feel like such a loser.
    We are awesome, and next time I see you we are going to have a blast, with or without food!

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