There’s been a lot of talk about death in our house lately. Mostly because of the fact that Darcy is getting older, and we’re 11 years apart in age.
Last night I was talking about my Granny, who is in Assisted Living, who will have to be in Residential Care soon and the tears started flowing. My Granny took care of me & my brother Milan. All throughout the years she did so much for us. She lives daily with dementia/alzheimer’s that gets worse with time. She’s not the same person I used to know or talk to. Infact, you can’t really talk to her anymore as she’s lost her ability to speak english.. So we can just laugh and sit with her and be okay with it.
I don’t visit her enough. It’s selfish of me, and sometimes painful because she’s not the Granny I used to know. I need to get over myself and just open my heart more and accept that she won’t ever be the same. It’s tough, when I look in her eyes it’s different. I love her so much and I really don’t know what I’d do without her in my life, but knowing that one day she won’t be here. Or my Mom. Or Darcy. Or my Aunt. Or Myself.
Some people are comfortable with death. I’m not (yet). I’ve never experienced anyone so close to me such as family other than my Grandpa, die. I’ve had friends die, and my friends friends die, but..
Death, does it scare you? Are you okay with it? I can safely say that I’m not. I hope one day
I will be. I know that people die, it’s a fact of life, but it’s hard for me to accept. I can’t even fathom my kitty dying!