god or God?

I have a hard time writing god capitalized these days. It seems that t he

deserving nature of a capitalization of a word really depends on how I feel about that particular ‘thing’.

god & Me. me & god. We used to be cool, really cool. I think? Looking back, I’ll never really know.

Did he help me when I was addicted to drugs? Was that him? Who the fuck knows.

These days I’m bitter. I’m bitter about religion and god and praying and all things christian. See, I can’t even capitalize the word christian anymore. I used to be one. The days of church going and acting like you were one of ‘them’ are gone. I could never be what they wanted me to be or act how they wanted me to act. There were too many rules and regulations. That’s not how religion (or is it?) is supposed to be.

I’m happy with my path. I’m happy without god or ‘God’ or whoever is supposed to make it all ‘better’.

I don’t want to be preached to anymore. I don’t want to know how GOD has helped you. A lot of people don’t take credit for their own goodness, and instead credit their god. I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for MY good decisions, not someone elses.

I am myself, I am happy, with or without ‘god’, without being told that someone is going to save me. Because honey, the only one that can save you is yourself.

And you know what? Amen to that, because it’s the truth.


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