Daddy?

I rarely talk about my father to people. It’s not that he’s a bad guy, he just wasn’t there.

The way I understand it is that when my Mom was 21 she fell in love with a much older man. In the Vancouver Croatian community and being catholic.. being pregnant and not married was a sin. Wait, with any religion it is, right? Whatever.

My Mom married my Dad (she was 21, he was 35) when she was 6 months pregnant with me. I was an accident as well as almost being aborted. In the world of free choice, I’m glad she chose me 😉

My Dad was a fishermen and he’d be gone at months at a time. When he wasn’t fishing, he wasn’t doing anything as I understand. My Mom got fed up and off she went with me & my brother in tow to Seattle. I was 6, he was 4.

I grew up in Seattle until I was 12. My Dad probably saw us 10 times in 6 years (if that). He was never the type of guy to go out of his way. He’s not a bad guy, he just wasn’t there.

Fast forward to when I’m 14. I see my Dad. We’re cool. I see him

again when I’m 16. Then again after I come back from California when I’m married.. I was 18 when I got married, 20 when I came back to Canada.

I saw him off and on for a while. Fast forward to 2 years ago when I really wanted a relationship with him. We were good and then I stopped calling and he started calling a lot more.

Last night I received a phone call from him. “My daughter, I love you.. it’s your Daaaad.” I always think he’s drunk when he calls and that puts me right off. He’s an alcoholic (will never admit it, but he knows he is).

Today I went to visit him. I hadn’t seen him in 9 months. All he wants is love. And all I want is for him to be loved. Even though he’s not all there (he’s a little dumb, forgive me for saying this) and he thinks he looks like Gene Simmons!

I never stopped loving my Tata and I never will. I need to make him important again in my life as long as he’s here.

Frank & Lucky the Crazy Dog.

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One thought on “Daddy?

  1. I love you story —I think you are on the right truck and that is what we all wont —love and have good relationship with mum and dad –no meter what — that what is what we only wont and need to be happy and to grow strong so we can face wind and rain and still be strong in our heart –because love is there. Love you story and go girl –go girl — go girl :-))))
    Zora

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