I rarely talk about my father to people. It’s not that he’s a bad guy, he just wasn’t there.
The way I understand it is that when my Mom was 21 she fell in love with a much older man. In the Vancouver Croatian community and being catholic.. being pregnant and not married was a sin. Wait, with any religion it is, right? Whatever.
My Mom married my Dad (she was 21, he was 35) when she was 6 months pregnant with me. I was an accident as well as almost being aborted. In the world of free choice, I’m glad she chose me 😉
My Dad was a fishermen and he’d be gone at months at a time. When he wasn’t fishing, he wasn’t doing anything as I understand. My Mom got fed up and off she went with me & my brother in tow to Seattle. I was 6, he was 4.
I grew up in Seattle until I was 12. My Dad probably saw us 10 times in 6 years (if that). He was never the type of guy to go out of his way. He’s not a bad guy, he just wasn’t there.
Fast forward to when I’m 14. I see my Dad. We’re cool. I see him
again when I’m 16. Then again after I come back from California when I’m married.. I was 18 when I got married, 20 when I came back to Canada.
I saw him off and on for a while. Fast forward to 2 years ago when I really wanted a relationship with him. We were good and then I stopped calling and he started calling a lot more.
Last night I received a phone call from him. “My daughter, I love you.. it’s your Daaaad.” I always think he’s drunk when he calls and that puts me right off. He’s an alcoholic (will never admit it, but he knows he is).
Today I went to visit him. I hadn’t seen him in 9 months. All he wants is love. And all I want is for him to be loved. Even though he’s not all there (he’s a little dumb, forgive me for saying this) and he thinks he looks like Gene Simmons!
I never stopped loving my Tata and I never will. I need to make him important again in my life as long as he’s here.
Frank & Lucky the Crazy Dog.